A Hard Day

I feel loved and lost all at the same time today.

Irene's funeral was today. Small, intimate, sorrowful, but grateful all describe the day. I've never been more excited to see my sisters and yet so sad that it had to be because of death. My mom wrote a really beautiful tribute to Irene which I thought I brought home but managed to leave in the car.

I missed all four of my classes today, first day and all. No part of me minds though. I have one more weekend to study for the GRE before I take it on Friday. After the GRE I'll figure out if I'll apply to graduate programs or not. I'm sure I will, but depending on well I do I may only apply to three: University of Oregon, Loyola, and University of Chicago.

Back to my original statement: I know and definitely felt today how much love there is in my family. One really beautiful moment was when my older sister was saying her goodbye's to Irene before the casket was closed and she was upset, just like the rest of us. Her amazing husband, Nate, was perfect. He was her support, he held her while she cried. We were all there for each other today. But for the first time in a while I really missed Matt.

Matt went with me to learn how to make crullers, he met and really liked Irene. What's not to like about Irene...she was a perfect example of that Polish stubbornness while full of compassion. And even though I do miss Matt, as my best friend and boyfriend, I knew that what I really missed at that moment was a solid companion to cry on. Not to say that my family wasn't there for me, but it was difficult.

All to say, Irene lived her life that way. Her life was full of purpose, working as VP at the Oak Park Bank and Trust, then taking care of Grandma and Grandpa Nevlida as they got older. But she never married and was always a strong woman nonetheless. I know it was incredibly difficult for her once Grandpa passed away, but she pushed another nearly-four years.

I guess I'm trying to say that I understand some of the loneliness Irene endured. She was an impeccable woman. I can only aspire.

Whatchya know-she was buried in this shirt today